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Tuesday 12 December 2017
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WARNING: I WILL BE WORSE: My Evil Vision for Bayelsa Pt.1 — By Fortune God’sSon Alfred

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WARNING: I WILL BE WORSE: My Evil Vision for Bayelsa Pt.1 — By Fortune God’sSon Alfred

We won’t listen to any talk about ancestral or Sacred Lands, unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. If it is the bones of our ancestors that is the concern anywhere, we shall exhume and properly rebury them in a special cemetery like the current Heroes Park that we shall create just for that purpose. If a land is said to be sacred because it is occupied or owned by a deity, then we shall enquire and perform the required rites to appease such deity for it to relocate. But nothing shall stand in the way of our vision of what constitute progress

 

 

Perhaps out of love for me and a subscription to what I have represented over the years, many friends – and sometimes even folks who consider my their foe – have urged me to run for Public Office in Bayelsa State. However, what they don’t know is that I shall be worse than many of the people they have complained about over the years.

Many of the people thinking and saying Gov Dickson is wicked should pray I’m not elected Governor of Bayelsa State anytime soon because you would come to truly know and hate me even more than you do Dickson.

However, just so you know and are careful of what you wish for, so that no one would accuse me of deception in addition to wickedness, which I won’t deny, or erroneously say that power has changed me, below are my random thoughts on some of the bad things I intend to do with State power.

First off, be warned that a government led by me shall bring down many houses in the State capital, Yenagoa and all the major towns in the state to make way for Urban Renewal.

We won’t listen to any talk about ancestral or Sacred Lands, unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. If it is the bones of our ancestors that is the concern anywhere, we shall exhume and properly rebury them in a special cemetery like the current Heroes Park that we shall create just for that purpose. If a land is said to be sacred because it is occupied or owned by a deity, then we shall enquire and perform the required rites to appease such deity for it to relocate. But nothing shall stand in the way of our vision of what constitute progress.

In Yenagoa, we will evacuate and relocate all the Towns on your right on the Melford Okilo Road to better locations with better planned housing and amenities and still remain their original names. So you shall still have New Agudama, New Edepie, New Etegwe, etc. The idea behind my decision to relocate them is to ensure that as you drive into Yenagoa, what you shall see is the well dredged, shoreline protected and all year round navigable Epie Creek, with adequate space for any future Rail-line development, Parks and Gardens taking the place of all the buildings currently occupying those spots. I want people driving into Yenagoa through that road to see only Trees, flowers, Garden Benches, and the creek with boats reminiscent of Venice. Abuse me from now till Christ Jesus returns, I won’t even feign concern.

The shoreline protection shall be on both sides of the Epie Creek, so that I can construct bridges to the other side of the creek that has higher land to continue my Urban planning and renewal. Of course you know this includes completing the New Yenagoa Gateway Road Phase II.

Those living on the right hand side of the Melford Okilo Road should not start rejoicing, thinking my evil plans exclude them because they don’t. Now let me paint you a picture of what I shall do to them, as Governor.
Apart from the Melford Okilo, there shall be two other major Roads before the Isaac Boro Express Road. What this means is that I shall construct two roads that shall each run first from Okaki Road to Imiringi road and then from Opolo Market/JTF Road to Imgbi Road. How would this happen? You just think of it. This also means that I shall dualize Opolo Market Road. And since I won’t touch Diete Koki Memorial Hospital and the Opolo Secondary School, you can guess how I intend to achieve that. I shall also dualize Okaki and Imiringi Roads.

I shall also run two major roads from Etegwe to Opolo Market road. Moreso, my two roads will also touch from DSP Alamieyeseigha Road to Obele through to that road after St Peters leading to Swali. I may preserve Yenegoa.

There shall also be two major roads connected to the Igbogene Ring Road from Imiringi Road to Sani Abacha/Bayelsa Palm Road cutting through the High Profile roads.

In Kpansia, Jasmine road must hit Melford Okilo. No more shall people from Jasmine have to be forced to use Nikton or Samphino. So the few houses stopping that must go.

Lest I forget, all those buildings close to the roads and streets that have extended themselves beyond their Beacons would just have to go back and allow a decent distance between them and the road. That’s not all; I want a straight alley beside and behind all buildings in all the streets from Igbogene to Oil Mill, just as it is from Aggrey Road to Creek Road in Port Harcourt Township. I want to be able to see as far as my eyes could between buildings.

Also, I shall bring down all the residential houses on the left side of the Oxbow lake axis(Central Business District), perhaps up to Azikoro Village Road or just stop at that Cemetery road . I will not allow a brick slum to exist directly opposite where we have Central Bank and other strategic buildings. If for instance there is robbery, I want a situation where we won’t be worried about a residential area when chasing the robbers. Don’t get me wrong, there shall be adequate compensation for those cases that are worthy of compensation when we bring down their homes here.
I shall chase away Great Eze Dr Ben and all those loading Amassoma buses at Etegwe with loud public address systems, because of my personal hatred for noise pollution. I am petty like that. All transportation Companies must be in the Ultramodern Central Motor Station I shall build. You want to travel? Go there!

I shall ensure that all organizations who plan to build Worship Centres or entertainment spots like clubs, lounges and Bars get proper authorization from Ministry of Lands, Survey, Urban Planning and Estate Management; Ministry of Health and Ministry of Environment. If you think you can set up a Church, Mosque, Club, Lounge or Bar in My State without permit and Soundproof you are a joker. If you think you can open a Club, Lounge, Bar, Restaurant etc without getting Liquor License or Inspectors checking out your shop to ascertain it’s suitability for its purpose, i.e meets HSE standards, you are a dreamer. These Permits shall like University Department accreditation, they are not permanent. You will have to renew them at intervals and they could be suspended when you violate any of the City Codes.

In Education, Isaac Jasper Boro College of Education, sorry you shall be abolished. The only thing that would save that institution is if anyone could prove to my government that the Faculty of Education or an Institute of Education in a re-orientated Niger Delta University or a truly Private sector driven University of Africa cannot produce more prestigious Diplomas and Certificates than the NCEs of a COE. If not, sorry you are gone. I shall redeploy its entire staff to better serve the state while the funds saved from its management would be redeployed to other areas.

What is worse is that none of these wicked schemes could be tracked back to me because I will use a Yenagoa LGA boss who must be an indigene of Yenagoa to carry out the Urban Renewal in Yenagoa. The same thing goes for all other LGA capitals and other major towns. If it means me appointing Militants as Caretaker Committee Chairmen of LGAs for a short while to achieve this, I shall do so gladly. When communities come crying to me, I shall promise them I shall look into the matter, and in some cases, even set up committees to investigate, but in the meanwhile, my wicked agenda is moving on.

Everything I do shall be carried out by institutions and in the name of the institutions so you won’t even be complaining about me, especially when I appear sympathetic towards your ‘plights’.

Since I won’t be banking on getting a Second tenure due to how unpopular I shall be after Four Years, that is if I won’t be impeached before then, I shall be grateful to God if I am able to achieve nothing else put institute order in Urban planning and Environmental Standards in my first 2 years.

Finally, to really underscore the depth of my wickedness, I won’t mind if all I could achieve is just to bring down all the buildings on my way to create the path to achieving these goals, even if I lack the resources to actually complete these projects. In the end, even if there is no road or drainage in a place where I earmarked for that, I want people to know that such spot is meant for that and stay clear from them in reverence of the Master-plans of the Towns of the State.

So now that you have the first idea about some of my wicked plans, just be managing your rulers because I will be worse.

TO BE CONTINUED



SAYELBA TIMES is an independent news group that focuses on original investigative reporting about critical issues facing all Niger Delta States including other parts of the world. Our contents are positive, creative, truthful and relevant.


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